I never thought of myself a kid person.  Actually before having my own, I was intimidated by other people's kids.  Their unpredictable behavior made me think twice if I should engage beyond the smile and a quick hello.  I would always anticipate the worst... what after me saying hi, the child turns to their mom ignoring me completely or worst yet, she turns around and tells her she doesn't want to say hi.  Fast forward to 2012.  My oldest daughter Daniela was born.  In spite of this "phobia" I did want to have my own kids and knew the moment I would hold my first born in my arms mommy mode would hit and i would be a pro at this!  I was going to have the most awesome, well-behaved, stellar, and of course, friendly kids!  I already had a mental list of all the things my parents did that I felt didn't work or did work and a few brilliant ideas of my own.  I was perhaps a bit over confident I think because apparently something happened along the way and now it's my daughter that looks up at me and tells me in a very clear and audible voice, "Mommy, I don't want to say hi to that lady."
Failure!
At least that's what the overachieving, perfectionist side of me told me.
I know as moms we can many times put so much pressure on ourselves in makings sure we raise perfect human beings. Or at least kids that can say hi!  But I have began to realize the task is a daunting one and even when you think you've gotten the hang of things here comes the next baby with it's own bag of tricks but I'll talk about Camila, my second born, in another post.
I obviously am by no mean a guru on the topic but I have surrendered my fears of failure and inadequacy to God hoping in return He would give me the tools needed to be perhaps not a perfect mom but the mom my two girls need.  I want to write my story and perhaps along the way encourage other moms who may have their own "failure" moments.
But for now we'll just leave it at that.